


Here's To Never Growing Up

by Dollars_tore



Category: Assassination Classroom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Anime Squad, Because canon won't do it, But that's canon, Cooking Club, Dadisa, Even though I hate spiders, Hazama has a tarantula so I had to write something about that, Living with these kids would be chaotic, Mom Squad, Mom Squad needs a break, Mom friend Hara, Nagisa & Hazama friendship, No Terasakas were harmed in the making of this fic, No one gets cursed, Not really a necessary tag, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV characters will be referred to by their first names, Potential OOCness, Relationship & Character tags will be added when relevant, Rooftop Crew, Secret anime fan Terasaka, Tired Mom Squad, Wingman Nakamura Rio, Yes I gave Chiba a nickname, at least that's what he thinks, but there we go, everyone already knows, yet - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-14 17:28:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29299662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dollars_tore/pseuds/Dollars_tore
Summary: The dorms had seemed like a good idea at the time; the students would be able learn each other’s strengths and weaknesses, plus they’d be able to share information and discuss ideas much easier than they would in separate houses. Emphasis on the word seemed. Turns out that a group of teens with a mission to save the world were still, well, teens. They probably should’ve seen this coming.
Relationships: Akabane Karma/Kayano Kaede/Shiota Nagisa, Akabane Karma/Shiota Nagisa, Chiba Ryuunosuke/Hayami Rinka, Kanzaki Yukiko/Sugino Tomohito, Kayano Kaede/Shiota Nagisa
Comments: 1
Kudos: 48





	1. Incident Log – Entries 1 & 2

**Author's Note:**

> Recorded Incidents:  
> \- Noise complaint  
> \- Tutoring session

The dorms had seemed like a good idea at the time; the students would be able learn each other’s strengths and weaknesses, plus they’d be able to share information and discuss ideas much easier than they would in separate houses. Emphasis on the word _seemed._ Turns out that a group of teens with a mission to save the world were still, well, teens. They probably should’ve seen this coming.

***-* *-* *-***

Kirara would always be the first to admit that she hadn’t exactly been enthusiastic about the idea of a dorm system, sure the idea of getting away from her mother for a while had been appealing but living with her classmates? Nothing against them but she liked having quiet time by herself, something which was proving to be difficult to find. Another thud came from somewhere above her, followed swiftly by a brief series of yells.

“Forget it.” She sighed, marking the page in her book before getting up with the intention of heading to a different spot, preferably far away from the dorm building. At least, that’s what she _was_ going to do; a note lying on the ground next to her door changed that plan.

“I swear if this is one of Okajima’s jokes again.” Luckily for the aforementioned classmate the handwriting was much too neat to be his, there was only a single word on the page ‘rooftop’ but that was all she needed. She grabbed her jacket on the way out, hesitating for only a moment before deciding that her classmates had enough self-preservation instincts – barely – to know that messing with her things wouldn’t end well for them.

The hallways were surprisingly empty though it was definitely louder out here than it had been in her room, probably because Mr. K had been perceptive enough to have soundproofing put around her room which made him better than the vast majority of the other adults in her life – kind of sad, but true none the less – it didn’t do much because apparently there wasn’t soundproofing good enough to handle E class’ brand of chaos.

Pushing open the door to the roof led her to a sight she hadn’t entirely been expecting. Sure the mismatched furniture wasn’t entirely surprising, someone was bound to set up some kind of hang out spot up here eventually – though why she hadn’t thought of it sooner she didn’t know – no, the part that was surprising was the group already sitting there.

Chiba and Hayami were sitting on one of the ledges, a normal person would probably find that unnerving, not her though – sitting there just gave their sniper images a nice boost – they knew what they were doing. She nodded a brief greeting when they spotted her, the two of them returning to whatever it was they were talking about while she headed to the table Kataoka was currently using.

“Too much noise?” Their female class rep asked, smiling in sympathy when Kirara merely rolled her eyes. She opened her book to where she left off while Kataoka returned to what she guessed was homework.

“So is this some new club I’ve only just learned about?” She asked as she turned the page, the other girl exhaling a short laugh before crossing something out.

“Something like that.” Kirara merely nodded in acknowledgement, she had to admit it was nice up here and made a mental note to read on the roof more often.

“So is there anyone else in this little club or is it just us?” Not that she was complaining, she preferred smaller groups, but she couldn’t deny that part of her was curious. Kataoka hummed in thought, glancing at the time on her phone before raising her head to face the door.

“Just one, he should be turning up any time now.” Kirara found herself watching the door, mentally running through a list of her classmates’ names in an attempt to figure out who it was. She had her answer a few moments later when a familiar head of blue hair poked outside.

“Hey Nagisa.” Kataoka greeted, the boy smiling tiredly in response before claiming one of the other seats at the table. Kirara was kind of surprised to see him, Nagisa wasn’t exactly the loudest person in their class – far from it – but considering he typically hung out with the likes of Karma…okay she saw why he was here now.

“I brought snacks.” The dark haired girl made a mental note to curse the next person who hurt him, nodding in thanks as she accepted one of the pastries. The snipers headed over briefly, muttering their own thanks before returning to their perch.

“What did he do this time?” She didn’t bother saying a name; they all knew who she was talking about. Nagisa merely groaned in defeat, slumping forward against the table; she watched – with mild amusement – as Kataoka reached over to pat his back, as though that would be enough compensation for whatever bout of insanity their resident sadist dragged him into.

They stayed up there for a while, packing up only when they realised the others were likely close to launching a search party.

“So, just to be clear, we’re not telling the others about this right?” The answering ‘hell no’s signifying the beginning of what Kirara believed to be an interesting development.

She was still sending a noise complaint to Mr. K though.

***-* *-* *-***

Nagisa would be lying if he said he hadn’t been excited when he’d heard about the dorms; being able to hang out with his friends – being able to do _anything_ really – without having to brace himself before asking was a pleasant change of pace.

“Hey Dadisa, your kid’s here.” If there was one thing he could do without, it was the constant teasing over his relationship with Sakura – seriously, if he found adoption papers on his desk _one more time_ – but that was only a minor problem.

“Coming!” He called over, pausing the Sonic Ninja movie he had been watching – yes he probably knows it off by heart at this point, no he doesn’t have a problem – Sakura perked up when he rounded the corner, something which would likely fuel more teasing later.

“So what are we working on today?” He asked as they claimed one end of the table in the kitchen – which was thankfully empty. She merely pulled a few worksheets out of her bag, writing scrawled over all of them.

“I finished these ones.” She stated, handing him three of the pages. He didn’t need any further prompting before he started going over them, this part of their routine never changed.

“What about those?” He asked, tilting his pen to point at the worksheets she was still working on.

“I know what I’m doing with this one.” She replied, holding up the page she was currently working through. “But I need some help with the other one.” Sounded simple enough, he hummed in acknowledgement. They worked in silence for the most part, taking much less time to finish the worksheets than when they first started.

“Thanks Nagisa.” The pink haired girl sighed in relief; he merely smiled in reply, pocketing his pen while she packed her things away.

“Do you want some ice cream?” He offered, chuckling softly when she cheered.

They spent the rest of the session talking about random topics, stopping only when one of his classmates informed them that her parents had arrived. He barely had time to shut the door before a familiar teasing tone called out to him.

“So are you sure you don’t want the adoption papers?” The dent in the door lasted for around five weeks, how he didn’t have a concussion by now was a mystery for another day.


	2. Incident Log – Entries 3 & 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recorded Incidents:  
> \- Cooking club  
> \- Unrequited crush support group

Sumire couldn’t say for certain when the idea came to her, it could’ve been when Karma almost set the kitchen on fire for the fifth time in a row – how that boy’s managed to live this long she doesn’t know – or it could’ve been when she saw Fuwa attempt to cook rice with a can of soda she’d bought from the vending machine, but somewhere along the way she’d noticed a common theme among her classmates…they were really bad at looking after themselves. Something which brought her to their current objective.

“A cooking club? For us?” Muramatsu asks from where he’s leaning against one of the chairs, he doesn’t sound particularly enthusiastic, not that she’d really expected him to be.

“It wouldn’t be an official thing; I just thought it would be a nice thing to do occasionally.” Which was true enough, even if it didn’t catch on with the rest of their class it would still be fun with just a few people. The boy merely hummed in acknowledgement, chewing his lip in thought.

“Oh hey guys.” A voice calls over from the doorway. “What’re you up too?” She doesn’t have to look to know that it’s Kayano. The green-haired girl practically skips to the fridge before claiming one of the unoccupied chairs; Sumire was kind of surprised to see she’d grabbed a bottle of water instead of one of the pudding pots she’d practically threatened murder over.

“Hara wants to start a cooking club.” Muramatsu replies, seemingly deciding – at last – to use the chair the way it was intended to be used. Kayano didn’t say anything, merely humming in thought before twisting the cap, so she was interested too?

“As I said, it wouldn’t be anything official, just something fun to do.” Kayano hummed in thought, Sumire watched as she glanced between the two of them, seemingly trying to make up her mind about something.

“Just the three of us? Or are we including the rest of the class?” She felt a grin working its way onto her face, at least _someone_ agreed with her; she sent a brief glance at Muramatsu, the boy merely rolling his eyes in mock-annoyance.

“Just us for now, we can see if any of the others want to join later.” She doesn’t say that that’s the reason why she wants to do it – well, she wouldn’t exactly call it the _only_ reason either – but the other two probably suspect it.

“Fine.” The blonde sighs, though Sumire knows he’s looking forward to it more than he’d like to admit, the small smile on his face makes that much clear.

“Great!” Kayano cheers before bouncing off, likely planning to meet up with Nagisa and the others, their group had been pretty close since the Kyoto trip after all – not that anyone could blame them for that.

“This is going to be a mess.” He was right but he shouldn’t say it.

***-* *-* *-***

If there was one thing Kaede hadn’t expected when she’d woke up that morning, it was to be cornered by Nakamura – who, in hindsight, had been a tad _too_ friendly – and a Sugino who appeared as though he wanted to be literally anywhere else.

“Hey Kayano, can we come in?” Normally, she’d probably be more hesitant in letting one half of their resident ‘Devil Duo’ into her room. She’d just leave this as a problem for future Kaede to deal with. She watched as Nakamura practically shoved the baseball enthusiast into her desk chair before motioning for the green-haired girl to take a seat.

“So,” the blonde began, Kaede glancing at her in apprehension from where she’d perched on the edge of her bed. “It’s come to my attention that the two of you have a problem that you need help with.” A quick glance at Sugino confirmed that he was just as apprehensive about this conversation as she was.

“What kind of problem?” She mentally thanked the boy for asking what she’d been thinking. Nakamura’s gaze slid over to him, her expression morphing into the mischievous grin that was – unfortunately – all too familiar.

“I’m _glad_ you asked.” Sugino _WHY?!?_ “It’s pretty obvious that the two of you are experiencing some issues in the love department.” Now would be a great time for the ground to open up – looking at _you_ Universe – she didn’t need to look at Sugino to know he felt the same.

“There’s nothing to talk about!” The boy squawked, practically launching out the chair. Kaede couldn’t help but level an unimpressed glare at him, now he’s done it.

“Oh I think there is.” The blonde chuckled, tapping away on her phone before turning the screen so he could see it. Judging by the slight flush slowly materialising on his face, Kaede was willing to bet it was a picture of their resident video game master.

“Okay.” The boy sighed. “Maybe there is something to talk about.” His shoulders slumped in defeat.

“Knew it!” Nakamura cheered, Kaede narrowly avoided rolling her eyes, the blonde was enjoying this a tad too much.

“Gotta go, bye!” The baseball enthusiast blurted before darting from the room. Traitor, the green-haired girl mentally yelled, briefly forgetting that she could also leave the room whenever she wanted to.

“Damn, well there’s always next time.” The mischief maker sighed before refocusing her attention; Kaede couldn’t help but gulp when she saw the grin on the blonde’s face. “So, anything you want to admit to?”

“No!” She blurted, already knowing that it wouldn’t be enough to deter the taller girl. Sure enough the phone was being held up to her, this time sporting a picture of their resident note-taker. “So what?” She sighed, doing her best to ignore the heat in her cheeks. “He’s already with Karma.” The red-haired devil hadn’t exactly been subtle about it when it happened.

“What if I said he was into you too?” What? She was joking, she had to be.

“And Karma’s completely fine with this?” Sure the other half of the ‘Devil Duo’ was fairly chilled – well, as chilled as someone fond of picking fights and torturing people with wasabi could be – but he could be _pretty_ possessive when he wanted to be. The memory of what happened to the last person who tried hitting on Nagisa in front of him flashed in her mind briefly, a shiver working up her spine. To her surprise, Nakamura merely laughed.

“Who do you think told me?” The surprise must have shown on her face, the other girl dropping the teasing smirk in favour of resting – what was probably meant to be – a reassuring hand on her shoulder. “Look, would I seriously joke about something like this?” Yes, yes she would.

“Do you really want me to answer that question?” The blonde barked out a short laugh, though Kaede noted she sounded more surprised than offended.

“Okay, that’s fair.” She grinned, though this time it was more sheepish than mischievous. “But seriously, just go talk to him.”

“Fine.” She sighed, pretending not to notice what was probably supposed to be a victory dance. Hopefully she wouldn’t regret this.


	3. Incident Log – Entries 5, 6 & 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recorded Incidents:  
> \- Mom squad  
> \- Anime squad  
> \- Unusual pets

Nagisa rubbed his eyes tiredly as he walked into the kitchen – or the ‘therapy room’ as some people in the class started calling it – muttering a quiet greeting to the three already slumped around the table. He dropped into one of the unoccupied seats, mustering up a thankful smile when someone slid a mug in front of him before leaning forward to rest his head on his arms.

“Long day?” He merely let out a strained laugh in reply before taking a long gulp from the mug, did it burn? Yes, did he care? No.

“That bad huh?” Hara winced in sympathy, the other two merely nodding in understanding.

“You have no idea.” The blue haired boy groaned, pouting when the class rep slid the mug away before he could grab it. “I’m just glad I actually paid attention in those fire safety classes.” The mug was promptly slid back over to him; he smiled – knowing it appeared a tad too unhinged to be of any actual comfort – before taking another long sip.

“Karma?” Mimura asked, smiling wryly. The redhead’s penchant for fire-related destruction was well known at this point, sure he hadn’t actually set anyone in their class on fire – yet – but it wasn’t exactly uncommon to find the charred remains of _something_ lying around.

“No.” He shook his head, watching the other three glance at each other in confusion before continuing. “Kanzaki.” The expressions of confusion quickly morphed into a weird mixture of disbelief and dread, they remained like that for a few moments before they realised he wasn’t joking.

“Fuck.” On any other day, hearing the ikemen swear would be met by panic and a hasty retreat from the room – or country if possible – but now wasn’t one of those times.

“Kanzaki?” Hara appeared to be moments away from a mental breakdown – not that he was far away from one himself – Nagisa could only nod in response, resting a hand on her shoulder when she buried her face in her hands.

“I thought she was one of the sane ones.” Mimura muttered to himself, eyes glazing over at the realisation that they were living in a building full of chaos-incarnates.

“Not anymore.” He replied, the four of them taking a brief moment of silence to mourn the loss of yet another strand of their sanity.

A distant explosion interrupted their moment of peace; the four of them glanced at each other, their gazes somewhere between fear and dread.

“Not it!” They yelled in unison, darting out of the room to avoid being tracked down.

Hopefully Korosensei would be willing to take them to another country for a few hours, and if not? Well they weren’t learning all these assassination techniques for nothing.

***-* *-* *-***

“Good evening fellow anime enthusiasts!” Yuzuki grinned as she swept a gaze over the three sitting on the sofa in front of her – well, Ritsu wasn’t _technically_ sitting but she was there and that’s all that mattered.

“Why am I here?” Terasaka grunted, the girl merely raised a challenging brow. He’d shown up willingly and it wasn’t as though they’d taped him to the chair.

“Bold words coming from a man who owns a Naruto headband.” Takebayashi smirked, fiddling with his glasses while the larger boy glared at him.

“What was that?” He growled, Yuzuki had to resist the urge to laugh when the dark haired boy merely shrugged, the smirk remaining fixed on his face. Terasaka grumbled for a few more moments before reluctantly leaning back in the seat, the manga lover took that as her cue to continue.

“As I was saying…” She drawled, watching as Terasaka rolled his eyes in annoyance. “I just thought it would be fun for the four of us to watch an anime together.” Takebayashi seemed interested and she could see the AI dancing happily on the tablet she’d brought down for her, Terasaka merely stared at her in disbelief.

“Seriously?” The boy sighed; she was mildly surprised that he wasn’t growling. “You brought us here for that?” He sounded unimpressed but he still didn’t make any attempt to leave.

“So you’re not interested?”

“Load the damn video.”

***-* *-* *-***

If there was one thing Kirara hadn’t been expecting when she moved into the dorms, it was that someone would actually like her tarantula. That’s not to say they were scared of it – well, a few were, but not all of them – but they did give her a wide berth when she’d walked up the path with it. Honestly? She was fine with it, it just added to the list of reasons to not mess with her room. Then there was Kurahashi.

“So cool!” The other girl chirped, her face wasn’t quite pressed up against the glass but she was closer to it than Kirara had expected…okay maybe that was a lie, this was _exactly_ the kind of thing that one of their resident ‘sunshines’ was into.

“Yeah.” Her voice was much quieter in comparison but she could tell her friend didn’t mind, too busy staring at the arachnid in fascination. She glanced at the box of crickets she’d been holding in consideration before lifting her gaze to the other girl. “Want to feed it?” Kurahashi whirled round, her expression shining with excitement; Kirara had to glance away for a few seconds – too bright.

“Can I?” She felt the muscles in her face twitch into a smile as she handed the box to the shorter girl, it was a small thing but it was still a smile. She watched as Kurahashi dropped one of the bugs in the cage, eye twitching slightly at the excited squeal when they watched it eat, did she really find it that exciting?

“You can hold it if you want.” Kurahashi glanced at her as though to make sure it was really okay, she smiled in – what she hoped was – a reassuring manner, damn two smiles in one day? She was getting soft. She watched the other girl pick it up, glad that she didn’t have to go over the proper way to hold one, before returning the box of crickets to the shelf she’d grabbed it from.

“So cool.” She repeated, her voice quieter this time, though not lacking its previous enthusiasm. Kirara didn’t say anything, merely leaned back against the wall, content to just watch. Eventually she put the spider back, leaving with a promise to hang out again some other time. Maybe it wasn’t so bad having a classmate who also liked spiders, Kirara concluded to herself before heading up to the roof, she wondered whether the others were there already.


	4. Incident Log – Entries 8 & 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Recorded Incidents:  
> \- New style  
> \- Target practice

One thing Nagisa hadn’t been expecting when he returned to the dorm that evening was to be cornered by two of his classmates; sure, Nakamura wasn’t too surprising but Hazama? They got along just fine but – other than their occasional gatherings on the roof – they didn’t really hangout.

“Hey Nagisa, are you busy?” The question itself would have been fairly innocent, that is, if Nakamura hadn’t been the one asking. She didn’t appear to be up to something and her voice lacked the usual mischievous undertones he’d come to expect, but that didn’t necessarily mean he was in the clear.

“Not right now, why?” He barely had enough time to note the blink-or-you’ll-miss-it smile on Hazama’s face before the blonde grabbed his arm. Well, there go any chances of escape. He didn’t bother resisting when he felt himself being dragged off; not needing to look to know the dark-haired girl was following them.

They didn’t stop until they reached his room and he found himself being lightly shoved into his desk chair before either of them thought to give him an explanation.

“So.” Nakamura cleared her throat awkwardly. “You went to see your mom over the weekend right?” He couldn’t help the momentary shudder at the mention of his mother, something which didn’t go unnoticed by either of the girls in front of him.

“Why do you ask?” Surprisingly enough, it wasn’t Nakamura who gave him his answer.

“We got you something.” Okay, coming from Hazama that usually meant a curse or something else along those lines, but as far as he knew he hadn’t done anything to warrant a curse. “Here.” She handed him a non-descript bag before walking off, grabbing Nakamura’s arm as she went.

“We’ll be waiting outside.” The blonde called over her shoulder before shutting the door behind them. Nagisa glanced at the bag in his lap in confusion, opening it under the understanding that Hazama wasn’t the type to give joke presents – unless it was on Halloween, they don’t talk about Halloween.

He left his room a few moments later, idly fiddling with his jacket sleeve while the other two stared at him. He glanced up when he saw a camera flash, watching as Nakamura typed something on her phone before putting it in her pocket.

“Looking good Nagisa.” He smiled sheepishly at the blonde’s comment, ducking his head again when Hazama merely hummed in agreement. He kind of looked like a member from some punk rock band, it wasn’t necessarily a style he’d pick out for himself but it was infinitely preferable to anything his mom tried to get him, not that that was difficult. He heard a notification sound and watched as Nakamura pulled her phone from her pocket, the expression on her face was suspicious.

“What did you do?” He piped up hesitantly, already dreading the answer. The girl merely grinned.

“Oh nothing, but you might want to turn around.” He raised a brow before doing as instructed, freezing when he saw Karma and Kaede at the other end of the hallway. He felt a small smile work its way onto his face when he caught their expressions. Maybe this style would grow on him after all.

***-* *-* *-***

Rinka glanced at the roof ledge, or – to be more specific – the soda cans lined up along it, it certainly hadn’t been what she expected to see when she came up here. She turned when she heard the door open behind her, watching as Ryuu unhooked one of the airguns from his shoulder, so that’s what was going on.

“Target practice huh?” She asked, a smirk working its way onto her face as she crossed her arms. He merely smiled in response, holding the gun out to her. This probably wasn’t what the guns were intended for but Rinka would be lying if she said she cared. “Sure, why not?” She grabbed the gun; the familiar weight had become strangely comforting.

“So, best of five?” Ryuu asked as the two of them shifted into sniper stances, Rinka merely hummed in thought as she swept another glance over the cans.

“How about first to miss?” She countered. She couldn’t see the boy’s eyes but she could tell there was a competitive glint in them. Sure, they didn’t compete as often as some of their other classmates but that didn’t mean they didn’t enjoy it.

They ran out of targets after a few short minutes. Neither of them had missed a single shot, not that that was particularly surprising, shooting cans was child’s play compared to a target that moved at Mach 20.

“Now what?” Ryuu sighed, Rinka didn’t answer for a few moments, idly rolling one of the pellets in her fingers.

“We should probably go collect the cans before one of the others find them, after that? I guess we find some more targets.” How neither of them were spotted she didn’t know, trying to clean up that many cans wasn’t exactly easy to do quietly, but she wasn’t going to question it.

They found themselves sitting in the common room a few moments later, airguns returned to their rooms and all traces of their little game removed from the roof. Rinka watched as another rubber band pinged off the wall, the other sniper lowered his hand with a sigh.

“This isn’t as fun.” Rinka merely hummed in acknowledgement, idly gazing at the bands scattered on the floor in thought. She smirked when she spotted some of their classmates out the window.

“How about moving targets?” The mirroring smirk on his face was all the answer she needed. They made short work of gathering up the rubber bands and quickly hurried off to find a good camping spot.

They spent the rest of the day keeping track of how many of their classmates they managed to get. Both of them managed to hit Terasaka, though Ryuu got bonus points for managing to land one in his ear. The only ones they hadn’t hit were Hazama (for obvious reasons), most of the mom squad, the class reps, as well as Okuda.

“We should probably pack up now.” She commented, glancing at their mostly depleted supply. Ryuu nodded in agreement, lifting the final rubber band from the small bag they’d gathered them in.

“Last one.” He replied, Rinka merely watching as he let it fly. She froze. Nagisa stood a few meters from them; the band had just passed in front of him if they way he was standing were any indication.

The boy turned in their direction, a serene smile on his face. Rinka glanced to her side when she heard Ryuu groan, a quick glance as the floor saw a hair band lying innocently in front of them. Well, they should probably call it a day anyway.


End file.
